Thursday, February 5, 2015

Preface: From Annoyed to Angry about Wild

I've been debating for awhile whether or not I should participate in a more formal fashion in the growing criticism over Cheryl Strayed's "memoir" Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. With some reluctance and hesitation, I now feel like I must speak up.
Why the hesitation? Put simply, I don't like the idea of putting a lot of negative energy out into the atmosphere. I feel it has a way of coming back upon a person. 

Comedian and UFC announcer Joe Rogan felt perfectly justified in publicly attacking Carlos Mencia on his website in 2005, because of the truly despicable things Mencia had done to his fellow comedians. However, Joe expressed regret for his actions in an interview with Marc Maron on his podcast WTF some years later, feeling that because he had put so much "negative energy" into attacking Carlos, it came back upon him in ways he hadn't foreseen. He still thinks something needed to be done, but maybe he would handled it in a different way. 

To some extent, that is why I've hesitated to speak out publicly. All one has to do is read through a few responses from Strayed's followers to get a sense of what you would face in daring to question her. Just check out a few of these gems from Facebook: 

"I read Bill Bryson's "A Walk In The Woods" and there you will find two immensely unprepared dudes. I've never heard Bryson criticized for his under preparedness in the way Cheryl has been. It's just b/c your a woman, and we all know it."

"I wonder if it is because you are a woman, and/or you achieved fame that causes this reaction in people? I think it is jealousy pure and simple. Most of your critics never hiked when you did."

"I was appalled at the PCT FB page. I had recently joined and then left after a few weeks. It was just as the movie was premiering and idiot after idiot had something crappy to say about the book. Sadly, they thought we all should hear it. However, there were defenders of WILD, some men, mostly women. I do think there is an element of fear, jealousy, sexism and cabin fever that have infected your attackers. Lets hope the spring will clear the cobwebs if idiocy... less hopeful about the sexism."

Yeah, and those were just a few of the hundreds I saw right away and picked out random. One day I might go back and cherry-pick some of the worst. The point is, I'm opening myself up for a lot of blow-back. Be that as it may, I've decided to move forward.Why? Well, Carlos Mencia never did anything that put people in harm's way.

What finally drove me over the edge was this Facebook post by Ms. Strayed.
(If that link doesn't, it means she's deleted it. I assume that will happen at some point)
Cheryl goes on epic rant
Ms. Strayed appears to be upset that people are starting to call her out and draw attention to her irresponsibility in promoting the idea of people going out and hiking in the wilderness without proper preparation. She starts: 

"Might I say, for the record, that while I made comic (and truthful) hay in WILD about all I needed to learn about backpacking (which was MUCH), the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated?"

Okay, first I have to point out that I've never once seen an author post a massive block of words in one mega-paragraph like this. Just take a look at the screenshot above. To add insult to injury, the sentences are horribly constructed and she meanders from point to point with little connection between the thoughts. It's virtually unreadable. 

Second, what does she mean my "make comic...hay in Wild"? The term "making hay" generally means "turning something into one's advantage" or "throw into confusion". Neither one applies here.
Make truthful hay? That makes even less sense. This is supposedly a professional writer who doesn't appear to understand the idioms she uses. She needed to learn "much" about backpacking? Who talks like that? The rest of her jungly word-garden is more of the same. 


Third, "...the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated?" Is she making a statement or asking a question? Better: "I want to state for the record the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated." Setting aside her complete lack of style, who is she talking about anyway? This seems to be a general attack against a straw-man she thinks she can defeat rather than a refutation of any specific criticism. Who has wildly overstated your unpreparedness Cheryl? YOU HAVE. 

After some Sugar-esque word salad comes this illuminating little gem: 
"People like to write that I knew nothing about hiking before I set foot on the PCT, but as I wrote in my book, I was an avid day hiker before my PCT trek--a fact that often gets overlooked for reasons I do not understand."

Help me out people. I cant find anywhere in her book where she states she's an avid day hiker. She uses "avid" six times and never about her hiking. (although there is this little eye-roller: "She knew I was intellectually avid," Ugh). In fact, this is what she says, in her own words, about her hiking background: 

  • "It was my hiking outfit and in it I felt a bit foreign, like someone I hadn't become"
  • "But now, having only these clothes at hand, I felt suddenly like a fraud."
  • Paul: "It's only that you've never gone backpacking as far as I know." (Interestingly Cheryl then lies to him and tells him she has.) 
  • "I've never gone backpacking."
  •  "I walked all the time. I walked for hours on end as a waitress." Note, this is her FIRST justification for being able to hike the PCT. Next she states she walked around in cities and walked for pleasure. 
  • She was referred to in the book as the "hapless hiker" a name she calls a "fairly apt description" 
  • SHE NEVER ONCE MENTIONS HIKING in the two years (or whatever) she was writing as "Sugar." Think that odd? Me too, particularly since there were several times it would have been pertinent to the question she was answering. BTW, before you send me scowly emails about the one time she talks about walking up a hill and met people and feathers fell from the sky and whatever nonsense she was making up that day, I'll tell you I believe that story as much as I believe George Zimmerman's fanciful tales of self defense. 
 Do those sound like descriptors for an "avid dayhiker?" I think not. My favorite quote? "What is hiking but walking after all." This shows a profound (a word Cheryl uses 19 times in book) lack of understanding of what hiking entails. If hiking was walking, they'd call it walking. 

The point of this is: Cheryl HERSELF has actively promoted the idea she wasn't prepared for her undertaking and it was beyond, far beyond, what she was logically and sensibly capable of doing. This set-up was purposeful. It shows how "strong" she was. It sets up what she had to "overcome". Steel is forged with fire, not flowers and bunnies. If she was prepared, if hiking were easy, if she knew what she was doing, then where's the drama? 

This is how she closes the manifesto: "If you read WILD carefully, you know that when I went to the PCT I was going home."
What?? Was there another version that contains passages I don't have in my copy? She states repeatedly how foreign the terrain is for her. She had no concept what a desert was, no idea what the difference between a mountain and hill was, and actually thought she was going to get attacked by Bigfoot.

Now why does this matter? Go read comments from people who have read the book. You can find them on Goodreads, Amazon, and her Facebook page. You can find dozens, maybe hundreds by now, of coach potatoes who have been "inspired" to go out wander around in the wilderness without any more preparation than Cheryl had. Do you know what happens out there? The California desert isn't like Jackrabbit, Indiana or Corntown, Ohio, you dehydrate FAST. You dehydrate just by breathing in the dry air. Going on day-hikes at the local park is as far from wilderness backpacking as bumper cars are from a NASCAR race. 

That was quite a bit longer than I wanted. My plan is to go back through the book and create an entry for each discrepancy I find and anything that seems fishy. Ultimately I'm working through three different hypotheses, and I quite honestly don't know which one will prove true:
1. Most of the book , about 70% from what I can tell, varies between exaggeration and outright fiction
2. Cheryl Strayed is suffering from one or more mental disorders (I do not say this to be funny; I'm serious)
3. She's such a poor writer, one has difficulty in discerning what she really means, and thus, there's a lot of confusion. 

The third hypothesis is the newest. I just came up with it today when a group of us were trying to figure out when her first "zero day" was. I got confused because she didn't write what she really meant in one part and threw me off. 

Number one is the one I find most likely. As you'll see in future posts, her hike seems to be an abridged and slightly modified version of the Barefoot Sisters' hike on the Appalachian Trail with a couple of splashes from Bill Bryson thrown in for spice.

The second hypothesis cannot be completely discounted even if #1 and #3 hold true. She ate her mother's bones? She stabbed her husband with a toothbrush and threatened to fuck another man's brains out? She took drugs from a stranger in the back of his van? Yeah, there's a diagnosis there somewhere. 

We'll explore all these together in detail. So long for now. 

-Mercer






26 comments:

  1. Pfffffffft, I forge steel with flowers and bunnies on a daily basis.

    Consider me your first fan, Mercer. A word of warning from one who knows: Don't go page by page. You will wish you never started this and hope for sweet death before you know it.

    Best of luck. I'll be reading.

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    1. Thanks Cali! I really appreciate it. You're the inspiration after all.

      Dont worry about me. I'm relatively immune the nonsense of the book itself. What sends me over the edge is the ridiculously over-inflated ego the author has displayed on social media, like OMG THIS>>> http://tinyurl.com/mpmvy98
      Have you ever seen an author so full of themselves?

      Ugh, anyway <3's to you and F' Cheryl.
      bark bark bark

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  2. I have no idea why my comments are posting twice.

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    1. because you're the Awesome and your words need to be heard? :)

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    2. She has attempted to defend one of her questionable stories on the above-mentioned facebook post, its really kind of amazing. I am amazed it wasn't deleted.

      Bruce Kuntz: Cheryl, the story you attribute to "Spider" in Wild about the ape that drew the bars of his cage is remarkably similar to something Nabokov wrote in 1956 in his essay "On a Book Entitled Lolita" which, as I'm sure you know, is included in most published editions of Lolita. Is this a coincidence?
      1 · February 4 at 4:18pm

      Bruce Kuntz: Turns out I wasn't the only one troubled by this: http://montclairsoci.blogspot.com/.../whose-anecdote-is...
      19 hrs
      Cheryl Strayed: The story I remember Spider telling me is very similar to an anecdote IN Lolita, which, yes, I read on my hike. Another reader pointed this out to me after the book was published and I think this blogger is right that I must have conflated the two in my memory. In my journal I noted that Spider went on a rant about being caged and the ways society keeps us down and I think I must have pressed these two stories together in my mind over the years because the two anecdotes echoed each other in my mind. I wrote it how I remember it. This is the reason it's called memoir!
      19 hrs · Edited
      Bruce Kuntz: I get the part about it being a memoir, and in fact one of my favorites of the genre, This Boy's Life, would hardly stand up to a rigorous fact-checking (but as it's author noted, memory has it's own story to tell). But permit me to play devil's advocate: Even some of the small details of Nabokov's anecdote ("1939 or 1940", "in Paris," "charcoaled") are echoed in Spider's version ("thirties or "forties", "in France", "charcoal pencils"), which suggests to me that Nabokov's essay was fresh in your mind when you wrote Wild. I first read Lolita and the essay in 1979, and although I never forgot the basic anecdote about the ape drawing his cage, I would never be able to keep the smaller details in mind for any long period of time. Perhaps your mind works differently.
      17 hrs · Edited
      Cheryl Strayed: There is nothing to play devil's advocate about! I'm with you on the curious complexities of the brain. I wrote that story as I remembered it, including those particular details. In fact, it's still as I remember it. It's only after someone pointed out the Lolita connection that I thought I must have conflated it with the similar anecdote Spider told me. I've not read Lolita since I read it on the trail and I don't believe I've ever read the essay you refer to, but if I had read it before or while I was writing Wild, it would've compelled me to question my memory of Spider's particular anecdote (even though my journal states he told me a story that involved an animal being caged, which I find really interesting). In any case, I'm not surprised about this. I rather expected it. Writing a book about one's life events is a fascinating journey into memory, subjectivity, and perspective. I'm quite sure there are other things in Wild about which I'm mistaken, though I did my sincere best to be as accurate as memory allowed. I didn't have a video camera strapped to my forehead (thank god--I was carrying enough as it was).
      1 · 18 hrs
      Bruce Kuntz: To be clear, American editions of Lolita (which I assume is what you read) include both the novel and the essay. The ape anecdote appears ONLY in the essay and does not appear in the text of the novel itself.

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    3. I <3 you Lauren Ashley!

      Thanks for sharing this. At the moment the thought of visiting her Facebook page send me into the kind of frenzied fugue Cali describes while reading "Wild". OMG, the hits just keep coming!!!!

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    4. Holy Hitler's Diary, I can see I'm going to be busy for awhile.... :)

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  3. Well done, I'm glad there are now 2 critiques of this poorly-written, fictionalized "memoir." I believe that all 3 of your hypotheses are true, because Cheryl is a person who needs to make up lies in order to "pass" for normal among the rest of us. Classic narcissistic or borderline personality disordered person. You can see she had no conscience whatsoever about cheating on her husband or killing an innocent child in her own womb, so why would she have a problem making up a journey she never took? She seems to have created an entire myth for herself and justified all of her actions, despicable to normal people with consciences, so that she can pretend to have reached some sort of higher plane in life. Very typical of narcissists; when caught in their lies, they blame the person who is trying to understand why they have been lied to, making it YOUR fault that they had to lie to you. Or they weave yet another lie, as in Cheryl's dire description of her childhood without running water in the MN backwoods. Her poor mother isn't even here to defend herself, so Cheryl can now make up a new, harsher childhood if she so chooses. "I was already three times tougher than any of you wimps, because I lived a deprived childhood!" she seems to be implying. Well, Cheryl, dear, I grew up POOR but I had zero experience hiking and didn't assume that I did just because we may have run short of food at the end of the month. Being poor doesn't translate into trail experience, dear.

    I'll be following your blog and looking forward to your dissection of her many lies. I admire your patience and fortitude in doing this. It's a noble task. Someone in The Oprah's staff really messed up on this one.

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    1. Thank you for coming over and taking a look Juliane!

      You could very well be right. As I go through each point I plan to tie each into one or more of the three hypotheses. Heck, I could even come up with more as we go along.

      I also think she does indeed fall somewhere on the spectrum of narcissistic personality disorder. You are correct to point out that she has never bothered to try and explain any of the inconsistencies people have pointed out; all she does is engage in ad hominem attacks and "pities" the lost soul who dares question her. Nor has she ever tried to reign in her vitriolic followers who viciously attack anyone who says anything other than "OMG you are SO brilliant Cheryl."

      We'll explore these concepts more in upcoming posts.

      Thanks again for visiting me over here!!


      I

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  4. As an update, Ms. Strayed posted this little jewel in response to a statement by the author of the blog "I Hate Cheryl Strayed": http://cherylstrayedisaliar.blogspot.com/

    "Get a dictionary and look up the definitions of backpacking and hiking. There's a difference. It can be true that you have done lots of hiking without ever having gone backpacking. It can be true that you have some wilderness experience without still having some things to learn. It can be true that you did lots to prepare for a journey and then you find there are some things for which you could not and did not prepare. But of course you don't want to know any of that."

    I am completely dumbfounded as to why she thinks this is any sort of rejoinder as THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE SAYING. Walking around as a waitress is NOT thru-hiking the PCT. Take a stroll through a public park is NOT wilderness backpacking. WTF is wrong with her?
    The oh-so-enlightened Strayed then continues with yet another ad hominem attack. I wont get into all that, but I do find it interesting how quickly she pulls the knives out and how she deletes anything on her page that doesnt prop up her artificial world-view.

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  5. Oh sweet baby Jesus >>> https://www.facebook.com/CherylStrayed.Author/posts/967256179966339

    Another swing at an invisible straw man for the sake of eliciting pity from her horde.

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    1. Oh, dear lord. That FB post was the equivalent to posting :( and waiting for everyone to find out what you're all sad-face about. Grow up, millionaire. I don't feel sorry for you.

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    2. I posted a link to that on my own FB page and a magnificent friend of mine couldn't help himself-- he got on Cheryl's page and commented, "Did it surprise and surprise and surprise you?"

      Can't. Stop. Laughing.

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    3. Oh he just went OFF on her in another post. I cant like it since Strayed blocked me from her FB page (more on that in tomorrows post).
      Im going to copy it here for safekeeping since she's going to hiking-shoe him over the cliff into oblivion.

      Sometimes cruelty and criticism just come from a place of seeing someone manipulate and fabricate stories to engender attention in a world where people are celebrity worshiped for having very little actual value.

      Sometimes that criticism comes from a completely natural sense of disgust when someone creates a false narrative or brushes off self awareness while simultaneously proposing to have answers and insight.

      Sometimes people are just tired of all the wrong people being congratulated for what amounts to hop-skipping through a game of Mad-libs with repetitive nouns and verbs in a tale of transparent fairy tale events and horrifically unlikely dialogue.

      Yes, making things up and presenting yourself as an ideological warrior for your fake battles should leave you feeling guilty, particularly when the trail of real people you've left in your wake have never been made whole by all the awful things you did on the way to being "found".

      Cheryl: 1
      Metaphorical and real life horses: 0

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    4. Yep. He's a magnificent fellow.

      It's maddening that we can't even "like" a comment on her page. Sheesh.

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  6. Well, aren't I the Belle of the ball? Where my dirty biker hobo truckers at, I have a backpack full of condoms to get through

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    1. Brian, I love you so hard.

      Not enough to use your backpack full of condoms, but still.

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    2. Did you write the above response to Cheryl? Well done old chap! :)

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    3. I <3 you Brian, but not in a Wilco T-shirt kind of way. I might eat a bone or two, but only if it were served as part of a salad, or casserole maybe.

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    4. Brian, will you marry me? I fucking love you. I would even let you offer me peyote and crank-chew from a sketchy van and welcome you into my futon as we yellow blazed into the sunset together.

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  8. I’m going to chime in as this woman needs to be called out.

    I was a thru hiker on the PCT. My trail name was “Runningwolf” and is on the 2600 miler list on the pcta.org in 2012. And signed on the trail registers. Right to Canada. I also attempted in 2010, made 2007 miles and had to quit–injury. Not a big deal but I ran out of time before the snow in Washington. I didn’t even begin to start my written work of the account until I did complete the trail. From A to B. I started over from mile zero the second time.

    Strayed is despised by thru hikers. Many of us question whether she was even on the trail. There are many things that she claims that are far fetched for anyone who has actually done it.

    Lost a shoe and then defiantly tossed the other? The path would have torn her feet up. And we would all like to know where it occurred? Not in the area she was talking about for sure. 99.9% of the ridges don’t have that steep of a slope where you could not have scurried down and gotten it. And she didn’t realize her shoe was loose to begin with? The paths aren’t that narrow–what force with walking would have tossed it that far? The areas she is speaking of simply don’t have that steep a slope for that to have occurred.

    She almost died of thirst did she? Where? There are a few (like 2-3) where you go 20 miles- 30 miles between water–if there weren’t trail angels leaving caches. Can’t speak for 20 years ago but they have been there for years when I went through. I missed a cache on a 29 mile stretch just past Old Station on Hat Rim. Walked right by it in a zone. I was very uncomfortable for about four hours. I didn’t “almost die of thirst.” Even at 104 degrees.

    Parts were “impassable.” Due to snow I assume. And they aren’t–they are just slow and hard. We went through them and she didn’t. In 2010 the snow was record in the Sierras. That record was broken a year later in 2011. People made it through the Sierras. I did. Others did.

    1100 miles from the Mojave to Washington. That would have been about 1500-1600 actually. So she skipped a lot. She did not do the Bataan death march. She section hiked–taking an entire summer to do 1100 miles. Got to rest a lot and hitch hike or bus between sections. Nothing wrong with that. But don’t try to over dramatize it Cheryl. You didn’t do an arduous journey. You took a vacation with hikes in-between. Even those of us who completed the entire trail didn’t have nearly the drama you claim to have had.

    She didn’t walk the distance daily like we did. She didn’t even complete half the trail. Her tales just don’t add up. But it was “girl power” for Oprah …

    Do some research on the trail itself. Hell, get a terrain map and look for the cliffs that are supposedly there where she couldn’t regain her shoe. Then you decide whether she placed in an event of great hardship or is guilty of hiker stolen valor.

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  9. Am I allowed to criticize the book if I point out that I couldn't stand Bryson's "A Walk in the Woods" either?

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