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Friday, February 27, 2015
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
A YAYA Mega-Rant by Mercer Creed
I don't know why, but I've got cacti needles up my urethra today. Not just those big, 20-gauge, scare-the-piss-out-of-you needle types, but also those infuriating microscopic little ones you can't see to pull out but burn your skin every time you brush up against something. I've got a double-barrel full of Fuckshot and I'm going to find some asses to fill with it today.
First of all, fuck you Peter Jackson.
I remember back when people were first talking about the Hobbit being made into a movie. "Peter Jackson HAS to do it" they cried. "He HAS toooooo" the whining whiners whined. Why? What the fuck has Peter Jackson ever done but ride the coat-tails of Tolkien's greatness?
Look what the Hack-master did to the LOTR: surfing Barbie-doll-looking elves, Scooby-doo ghosts saving the day, NO Tom Bombadil, endless closing sequences, Sauron as a giant eye...A GIANT MOTHERFUCKING EYE! It doesnt even make the first bit of sense! Oh, if only the giant fucktarded eye could turn slightly to the right...he could have seen it coming...I dont even....
No he's fucked up the Hobbit and everyone knows it. It looks like a God-damned cartoon with no sense of internal logic or understanding of physics or gravity. How can one person suck that hard?
He had to do it? Fuck you. Just because he looks like a hobbit doesnt mean he gets to call dibs on everything Tolkien ever bothered to jot down on the back of a napkin. I'd love to shove the Two Trees of Valinor up us ass and feed him to a pit of randy orc prisoners.
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| An actual shot from pre-production. Bow removed during post-production when the crew distracted Jackson with a closet full of a Twinkies. |
Oh, what are you laughing at Gorge Arrrgh Fartin'? You took some of the best fantasy novels I've ever read and turned them into the Endless Song of Shite and Ire. Did anyone bother to read your last book before it was sent to press? Fucking heroin-head Cheryl Strayed had fewer grammatical errors in her
Yeah, I said it. Lost was a giant bumblefucking waste of my time. Hey "writers", learn how to TELL A STORY. Lost is the result of a generation of "writers" who have never bothered to read a book, but grew up cockstrangling themselves to Morgan Webb, Jeri Ryan, and stacks of quasi-legal manga comics. Nothing is fucking lower than a fanboi who thinks because he can fill a screen with words that makes him a "writer." You are NOT storytellers! Look up "plot" in a dictionary. Fucking Google it if you can use a computer for anything other than finding erotic Harry Potter fan-fiction.
Were you getting lonely Kanye? Well, I have some for you too. Thanks for fucking up the SNL 40 year tribute show. What the hell was that douchbaggery? Music? I could bounce xylophones off the heads of cats or hand out kazoos to special needs 5th graders and record better music than you. Tell me you're a genius one more time. I dare you...ONE MORE TIME! You're a genius in the same we tell my slow cousin he's a genius when he manages to smear some peanut butter on a mangled piece of bread. Fuck you and your whore wife. Oh, did I go to far? The last time she said anything worth listening to she was making gagging noises with the encouragement of Ray J. Congrats genius, you married a porn star.
Fucking SNL. I barely get to see Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Tracy Morgan, or Chris Farley, but I have to suffer through an endless autotuned Kanye West "song?" Is this performance art? Is it good because it's so ironically bad? Could be, this is a world where people think Sarah Silveman is funny.
Don't even let me catch the bat-guano smoking, clueless teenagers who wrote the Rolling Stone's "SNL: All Cast Members Ranked" article on the street. I swear to God I will fist you in the middle of Times Square. Rachel Dratch is #16? Did you just pull names out of a hat and list them in random order? If there is justice in the world you'll be prison-bitched by a herd of rabid stallions.
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| No, you're not. |
Sweet merciful Mary, that felt good.
You know I actually thought Miley Cyrus did a great job on the Paul Simon cover. If she can reign in the Instagram shenanigans, I just might be a fan.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Wild: A Truly TALL Tale
This post isn't about one of the many lies inconsistencies found in Wild so much as it is pointing out one of the many ways Strayed simply fails as a writer.
The very first words one is treated to in this Brilliant, Inspirational, and Brutally Honest "memoir" are:
"The trees were tall, but I was taller,"
Strayed, you were NOT taller than the trees, you were HIGHER than the trees. You were higher than a fucking kite probably on chewable heroin or bubble gum meth or whatever the hell you're claiming you "battled" back in the day. (not beer though, you never even drank a whole beer right?) How the sweet Faulkner could you start your book with a sentence that doesn't make literal sense?
Oh, here might be a reason, one of the lesser used definitions of the word, tall:
The very first words one is treated to in this Brilliant, Inspirational, and Brutally Honest "memoir" are:
"The trees were tall, but I was taller,"
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| it makes my pudendum ache |
Strayed, you were NOT taller than the trees, you were HIGHER than the trees. You were higher than a fucking kite probably on chewable heroin or bubble gum meth or whatever the hell you're claiming you "battled" back in the day. (not beer though, you never even drank a whole beer right?) How the sweet Faulkner could you start your book with a sentence that doesn't make literal sense?
Oh, here might be a reason, one of the lesser used definitions of the word, tall:
high-flown; grandiloquent:
He engages in so much tall talk, one never really knows what he's saying.
Yeah, tall alright. Taller than the trees, taller than the other PCT hikers, taller than all the bulls and the bears and llamas and the frogs. Taller than them all!
"Oh Mercer, don't you think you're being a bit petty, or dare I say, small?"
Yeah, probably. But here' the thing...this person is constantly being told how "brilliant" of a writer she is. BRILLIANT THEY SAY!
She is NOT brilliant. Her writing makes JK Rowling seem like Hemingway in comparison. This is the woman who wrote: "...and sometimes he told her no in a voice as soft as his penis in his pants." Stab me with a soft, knowing dagger already.
Check out this mess of words describing her boot loss: "...and the left one had fallen into those trees, first catapulting into the air...then skittering across the graveling trail and flying over the edge. It bounced...before disappearing into the forest canopy below..." What? It didn't also sing & dance before it profoundly shattered onto the ground? How about "...the boot flew over the side of the outcropping, disappearing into the trees below." DONE. Easy peasy. That's what they call TIGHT PROSE. Learn it, love it, live it.
Strayed being "taller than the trees" is also a hint of how her mind works. She really is bigger than everyone; she is better than everyone, she is so much stronger and smarter than everyone and everything around her.
Don't believe her? Just ask her. "I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me." She is taller than the trees. She's a regular God damned Paul Bunyan. In fact, in her book, she is Jesus and she suffered for your sins. She even get's her feet washed! (Luke 7:38) Because she forgave herself and absolved herself of ANY RESPONSIBILITY for her actions, you, gentle reader, don't have to feel bad, ashamed, or guilty about any of the shit you did that hurt other people. All those times you were childish and selfish? It's OKAY! You don't need to learn from your mistakes because THAT'S HOW YOU ARE! God made you beautiful and special. Fuck everyone else around you, YOU are the bestest!
Check out this mess of words describing her boot loss: "...and the left one had fallen into those trees, first catapulting into the air...then skittering across the graveling trail and flying over the edge. It bounced...before disappearing into the forest canopy below..." What? It didn't also sing & dance before it profoundly shattered onto the ground? How about "...the boot flew over the side of the outcropping, disappearing into the trees below." DONE. Easy peasy. That's what they call TIGHT PROSE. Learn it, love it, live it.
Strayed being "taller than the trees" is also a hint of how her mind works. She really is bigger than everyone; she is better than everyone, she is so much stronger and smarter than everyone and everything around her.
Don't believe her? Just ask her. "I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me." She is taller than the trees. She's a regular God damned Paul Bunyan. In fact, in her book, she is Jesus and she suffered for your sins. She even get's her feet washed! (Luke 7:38) Because she forgave herself and absolved herself of ANY RESPONSIBILITY for her actions, you, gentle reader, don't have to feel bad, ashamed, or guilty about any of the shit you did that hurt other people. All those times you were childish and selfish? It's OKAY! You don't need to learn from your mistakes because THAT'S HOW YOU ARE! God made you beautiful and special. Fuck everyone else around you, YOU are the bestest!
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Wild: Do you know what "bugs" me...
....the complete lack of bugs and insects in Wild.
Strayed mentions the word "mosquitoes" only three times in Wild and only once while she was on the PCT near the end. Oh, and one of those 3 times was when she was singing the Nirvana song to ward off bears and lions or whatever.
The word "tick" was never used once.
Really? A story about California hiking and Strayed never once commented on ticks? I get this is a story about her "supposed" transformation, which comes deus ex machina at the end while she eats an ice cream cone, but cmon! That's like Fox News going a full day without mentioning Obama.
People, it just doesn't make sense.
I just started reading The Cactus Eaters and already there are so many similarities....including calling their over-stuffed backpacks "monsters."
Strayed mentions the word "mosquitoes" only three times in Wild and only once while she was on the PCT near the end. Oh, and one of those 3 times was when she was singing the Nirvana song to ward off bears and lions or whatever.
The word "tick" was never used once.
Really? A story about California hiking and Strayed never once commented on ticks? I get this is a story about her "supposed" transformation, which comes deus ex machina at the end while she eats an ice cream cone, but cmon! That's like Fox News going a full day without mentioning Obama.
People, it just doesn't make sense.
I just started reading The Cactus Eaters and already there are so many similarities....including calling their over-stuffed backpacks "monsters."
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Wild: "Greg" outs Cheryl
Roger Carpenter, the real life version of "Greg" from Cheryl Strayed's "Wild," just inadvertently discredited Strayed's own account of her actions.
I feel kind of bad for the guy. He certainly is taking great pride in being associated with Strayed and her book and is enjoying a certain level of notoriety because of it. I think he honestly likes Cheryl a lot and is eager to help her in any way he can. Sadly, he seems to have unwittingly given us the smoking gun that proves a good part of Strayed's story was at minimum, embellished and at most, fabricated.
Read his story on the PCTA website. Carpenter talks about coming across Strayed on the trail near Spanish Needle Creek. He states "Cheryl had a huge, heavy backpack, the now famous “Monster,” and was taking down a spacious dome tent." Now he didn't have to say anything about the tent, but he was very clear as it must have made an impression on him.
Go and Google "spacious dome tent," "dome tent," and "north face dome tent."
Now compare those images with the photo of the tent Strayed says she used:
Cheryl asserts this is the tent she used and that this is a photo of her on the trail. She has the Bob Marley t-shirt she supposedly received and lost while on the trail. She says she still has the tent. So why isnt this a "spacious dome tent?" Does that look like a "spacious dome tent?" Would anyone describe that as a "spacious dome tent?" The answer is "no" in case you weren't sure.
BTW, who took this photo? She could not have gotten framing like this if she had used her "tiny tripod" and set her camera's timer, you would be able to see more ground. This was handheld by someone. To me it appears that the bottom half may have even been cropped out. Why? was someone else's gear lying there? Why are some of her photos from the trail in color and some in black & white? Why is she wearing sandals and not flip-flops like she described? Does that backpack look like a Monster to you? Why are there so few photos from her trip? Why are there so many questions about something so simple?
The reason?
Because the photo above was not taken during the brief period Strayed was actually on the trail. I think Strayed did hike and backpack for awhile and did indeed meet Greg where she says she did, but this photo was NOT taken during that time. It's my belief this was taken by a boyfriend, or maybe even Paul, while Strayed was camping sometime either before or after the period she claims to have been hiking. This was one of the only photos she has of her at a campsite, so she had to weave it into the story and of course that shirt had to disappear while she was on the trail, as it belonged to whoever she was camping with.
In fact, I will go so far as to say I think EVERY photo of Strayed posted by her of her, was taken by either Paul or another beau on camping trips BEFORE she set out on the PCT. This also explains why she's continues to contradict herself in how much backpacking experience she had before the PCT hike. I think she and Paul DID go backpacking and camping, but she couldn't say that in the book, because that would contravene her narrative of being hapless and helpless when she started. She needed to "overcome" her weaknesses and grow stronger on the trail. She couldn't do that if she was already out there running around with a backpack on. Real-life Cheryl had a rough idea of what she was doing, fictional Cheryl did not. Strayed is now confusing the two and doesn't understand why everyone else is just as confused.
Were these photos "selfies" taken with a tiny tripod? FYI, all color photos seem to show the "Starved" necklace while none of the B&Ws do.
Well, to me almost nothing more needs to be said. Someone isn't telling the truth. Oh don't worry, I'll continue to document these little slip-ups and inconsistencies and soon I'll start making my way back through the book.
See you soon!
-Mercer
I feel kind of bad for the guy. He certainly is taking great pride in being associated with Strayed and her book and is enjoying a certain level of notoriety because of it. I think he honestly likes Cheryl a lot and is eager to help her in any way he can. Sadly, he seems to have unwittingly given us the smoking gun that proves a good part of Strayed's story was at minimum, embellished and at most, fabricated.
Read his story on the PCTA website. Carpenter talks about coming across Strayed on the trail near Spanish Needle Creek. He states "Cheryl had a huge, heavy backpack, the now famous “Monster,” and was taking down a spacious dome tent." Now he didn't have to say anything about the tent, but he was very clear as it must have made an impression on him.
Go and Google "spacious dome tent," "dome tent," and "north face dome tent."
Now compare those images with the photo of the tent Strayed says she used:
Cheryl asserts this is the tent she used and that this is a photo of her on the trail. She has the Bob Marley t-shirt she supposedly received and lost while on the trail. She says she still has the tent. So why isnt this a "spacious dome tent?" Does that look like a "spacious dome tent?" Would anyone describe that as a "spacious dome tent?" The answer is "no" in case you weren't sure.
BTW, who took this photo? She could not have gotten framing like this if she had used her "tiny tripod" and set her camera's timer, you would be able to see more ground. This was handheld by someone. To me it appears that the bottom half may have even been cropped out. Why? was someone else's gear lying there? Why are some of her photos from the trail in color and some in black & white? Why is she wearing sandals and not flip-flops like she described? Does that backpack look like a Monster to you? Why are there so few photos from her trip? Why are there so many questions about something so simple?
The reason?
Because the photo above was not taken during the brief period Strayed was actually on the trail. I think Strayed did hike and backpack for awhile and did indeed meet Greg where she says she did, but this photo was NOT taken during that time. It's my belief this was taken by a boyfriend, or maybe even Paul, while Strayed was camping sometime either before or after the period she claims to have been hiking. This was one of the only photos she has of her at a campsite, so she had to weave it into the story and of course that shirt had to disappear while she was on the trail, as it belonged to whoever she was camping with.
In fact, I will go so far as to say I think EVERY photo of Strayed posted by her of her, was taken by either Paul or another beau on camping trips BEFORE she set out on the PCT. This also explains why she's continues to contradict herself in how much backpacking experience she had before the PCT hike. I think she and Paul DID go backpacking and camping, but she couldn't say that in the book, because that would contravene her narrative of being hapless and helpless when she started. She needed to "overcome" her weaknesses and grow stronger on the trail. She couldn't do that if she was already out there running around with a backpack on. Real-life Cheryl had a rough idea of what she was doing, fictional Cheryl did not. Strayed is now confusing the two and doesn't understand why everyone else is just as confused.
Were these photos "selfies" taken with a tiny tripod? FYI, all color photos seem to show the "Starved" necklace while none of the B&Ws do.
Well, to me almost nothing more needs to be said. Someone isn't telling the truth. Oh don't worry, I'll continue to document these little slip-ups and inconsistencies and soon I'll start making my way back through the book.
See you soon!
-Mercer
Monday, February 9, 2015
Kanye West: Why Aren't You Ashamed?
Kanye West, Why Aren't You Ashamed?
Seriously, what the hell is your malfunction? Are you are drugs? Should you be on drugs? Do you need your ass kicked?
You definitely need to be spanked, because you behave like a spoiled little baby who cries and whines when he doesn't get his way.
You've won 21 Grammys and you have the nerve to say that the process is somehow racist? Hey buddy, you are NOT A GENIUS. I've tried to listen to your "music." OMG that crap is awful. I have no clue as to why people like you or Radiohead for that matter. Modern music is all complete detritus and you little rich babies run around bellyaching because your piece of shit album wasn't deemed to be marginally better than someone else's acoustic refuse.
Wanna know a secret, moron? Children buy your shit because you use dirty words and talk about sex. That's it. You are not an artist. You appeal to giggling teenagers who want to hear someone talk about their sex organs.
Can you even play an instrument? I sure as shit didn't hear any guitar in the midst of the sewage you call songs. Can you read music? Can you even read? You sound like an illiterate hillbilly. I wonder how you'd sound if Beck slammed you in the mouth with his Grammy and knocked out your teeth. That I'd like to see.
I've listened to a few Beyonce songs. She actually has talent. Other people must agree, because here is a vast list of awards she's won. Beck is an extremely talented music artist. You probably don't realize that because he's white and you are the biggest motherfucking racist I've ever seen. You can't begrudge him an award? Did I mention you're a talentless hack?
Kanye, you should be ashamed. You won't be because you don't have the common sense or decency God gave to cucumbers.
You should keep your mouth shut. You won't because, like a child or someone with mental issues, you don't realize when your acting against your own best interests.
You should apologize. You won't because you're a human septic tank that produces nothing but shit.
You should no longer continue to participate in our society. You will because you've made millions being an asshat, so why change now? You'll die someday though, we all do, and America will be just a little bit better because of it.
F-you Kanye.
Seriously, what the hell is your malfunction? Are you are drugs? Should you be on drugs? Do you need your ass kicked?
You definitely need to be spanked, because you behave like a spoiled little baby who cries and whines when he doesn't get his way.
You've won 21 Grammys and you have the nerve to say that the process is somehow racist? Hey buddy, you are NOT A GENIUS. I've tried to listen to your "music." OMG that crap is awful. I have no clue as to why people like you or Radiohead for that matter. Modern music is all complete detritus and you little rich babies run around bellyaching because your piece of shit album wasn't deemed to be marginally better than someone else's acoustic refuse.
Wanna know a secret, moron? Children buy your shit because you use dirty words and talk about sex. That's it. You are not an artist. You appeal to giggling teenagers who want to hear someone talk about their sex organs.
Can you even play an instrument? I sure as shit didn't hear any guitar in the midst of the sewage you call songs. Can you read music? Can you even read? You sound like an illiterate hillbilly. I wonder how you'd sound if Beck slammed you in the mouth with his Grammy and knocked out your teeth. That I'd like to see.
I've listened to a few Beyonce songs. She actually has talent. Other people must agree, because here is a vast list of awards she's won. Beck is an extremely talented music artist. You probably don't realize that because he's white and you are the biggest motherfucking racist I've ever seen. You can't begrudge him an award? Did I mention you're a talentless hack?
Kanye, you should be ashamed. You won't be because you don't have the common sense or decency God gave to cucumbers.
You should keep your mouth shut. You won't because, like a child or someone with mental issues, you don't realize when your acting against your own best interests.
You should apologize. You won't because you're a human septic tank that produces nothing but shit.
You should no longer continue to participate in our society. You will because you've made millions being an asshat, so why change now? You'll die someday though, we all do, and America will be just a little bit better because of it.
F-you Kanye.
Wild: Strayed Deletes Own Epic Diatribe
In a move which is sure to arch some eyebrows, Cheryl Strayed has deleted an epic diatribe she posted to her Facebook page on February 1st.
The post created quite a stir when it appeared without warning late last Sunday, generating hundreds of comments both positive and negative.In fact, the post was the impetus behind my starting this blog was the subject of my first post.
In her free-from, often rambling composition, Strayed appeared to be lashing out at unnamed critics of her tale who suggested she was ill-prepared for her now famous Pacific Crest Trail hike. Strayed countered this notion with confusing statements about what she truly knew about hiking/backpacking and went on to compare herself to Muir and Thoreau; implying that any criticism against her is based in misogyny and not on actual facts. The real target(s) of Strayed's post remains a mystery.
The post created quite a stir, as the only person known to have written about Strayed's lack of preparation and experience was Strayed herself. As such, she appears to be calling out her own work as "wildy overstated;" a notion many of us have been putting forth recently.
Why she chose to delete the post also remains clouded in mystery.
Was she compelled to do it by sponsors? Recently she's begun promoting her new podcast, which revives her controversial "Sugar" persona providing advice to those with relationship problems. During her time at the Rumpus, where she wrote as "Sugar," Strayed often had to defend herself against allegations she was manufacturing the questions she was answering. Her Facebook rant probably looks to some as uncharacteristic of Strayed's alternate personality.
Was she tired of monitoring the post? Strayed obsessively reviews her Facebook account throughout the day and selectively deletes posts which raise any questions about her statements or otherwise contradict the narrative she strives to convey. The post in particular certainly required hourly monitoring; so perhaps editing it just got to be too much of a hassle.
We'll probably never know. We'll have to file this away as just another oddity in the story of Strayed's PCT misadventures.
The post created quite a stir when it appeared without warning late last Sunday, generating hundreds of comments both positive and negative.In fact, the post was the impetus behind my starting this blog was the subject of my first post.
In her free-from, often rambling composition, Strayed appeared to be lashing out at unnamed critics of her tale who suggested she was ill-prepared for her now famous Pacific Crest Trail hike. Strayed countered this notion with confusing statements about what she truly knew about hiking/backpacking and went on to compare herself to Muir and Thoreau; implying that any criticism against her is based in misogyny and not on actual facts. The real target(s) of Strayed's post remains a mystery.
The post created quite a stir, as the only person known to have written about Strayed's lack of preparation and experience was Strayed herself. As such, she appears to be calling out her own work as "wildy overstated;" a notion many of us have been putting forth recently.
Why she chose to delete the post also remains clouded in mystery.
Was she compelled to do it by sponsors? Recently she's begun promoting her new podcast, which revives her controversial "Sugar" persona providing advice to those with relationship problems. During her time at the Rumpus, where she wrote as "Sugar," Strayed often had to defend herself against allegations she was manufacturing the questions she was answering. Her Facebook rant probably looks to some as uncharacteristic of Strayed's alternate personality.
Was she tired of monitoring the post? Strayed obsessively reviews her Facebook account throughout the day and selectively deletes posts which raise any questions about her statements or otherwise contradict the narrative she strives to convey. The post in particular certainly required hourly monitoring; so perhaps editing it just got to be too much of a hassle.
We'll probably never know. We'll have to file this away as just another oddity in the story of Strayed's PCT misadventures.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Wild: Three Young Bucks
Today let's take a closer look at this photo and discuss the Three Young Bucks.
A quick note first. I'm not going to bother summarizing every little detail of what occurs in the book here on this blog. If you're reading this, I'm assuming you have read the book and know what I'm talking about.
If you haven't read the book. I encourage you do to so.
Oh yeah, I said that. I know, I know! Not since the Red Wedding has a series of random words been arranged in such a shocking and unbelievable sequence. It's conceivable I might even lose some friends over this, but yes, I actually think the book is worth reading, but maybe not for the reasons you think.
Wild is a hysterical train wreck of a book. Dare I say, Wild is a peek into the mind of someone who thinks...differently about things than normal people. In fact, the experience is not dissimilar to reading Burroughs' Naked Lunch
One of my favorite things to do is recommend Wild to someone, then sit back and wait for the astounded, disbelieving calls, texts, and emails to pour in. (Although they usually start taking an angry tone when they read the way Cheryl behaves during her mother's death) If you have an ounce of common sense though, you can't help but laugh inappropriately at the ridiculousness of the things Cheryl claims to have done. Several of my friends and I now have running jokes based upon some of the more preposterous quotes from the book. Bone-eating, Wilco t-shirts, Michelle Shocked concerts, condom packages. foot rubbing, "cow, cow, cow", nurse penis, taking drugs from strange men in vans, abortion-tuna...cmon! This is a treasure trove of unintentional humor.
Invite some friends over, open a bottle of wine, read your favorite passages out loud. In fact, I challenge you to assume roles and read her dialogue out loud like a play and get through it without crying in hilarity. Strayed has written a comic masterpiece and it should be celebrated as such. I don't begrudge her remuneration for that.
What I have an issue with is her being treated like a "hero" and that Wild is some sort of "inspirational tale" for others. She is not, it is not. If you behave in the real world like "Strayed" claims to have behaved in her book, then you should find yourself at the center of a behavioral intervention and probably on the receiving end of some powerful pharmaceutics prescribed by a health care professional.
Alright alright, back to this photo. Take a look at it. I brought it up in a previous post in regards to the lack of a pink strap on the ski-pole Cheryl is carrying. The photo supposedly shows Strayed with "Joshua," one of the "Three Young Bucks" she writes about in Wild. This is the ONLY photograph I know of that shows Strayed doing anything that resembles hiking with another person. Now think about that. She carried a Minolta X-700 with zoom lens and tiny tripod (and a flash for part of the trip) but only has ONE photo of herself with another person? In fact, I'm hard pressed to figure out if any of the photos she's posted were taken by her. More on her photos, the ones we have and the ones which don't exist, in another post.
It's odd to me that the only photo of her hiking with another person (or starting to hike anyway) doesnt look posed. That is, the two arent standing next to each other, dont have their arms around each other, arent looking in the same direction, anything that indicates there's any sort of friendship between them other than they were standing in the same vicinity when someone took a snap. I know this is my of my subjective doubt being imposed here, but try this: Google "Hiking with my friend" and search images. Compare those with Cheryl's photo. Just sayin'
By the way, which of those two backpacks would you want to carry based upon that photo? See where I'm going with that? "Monster" is looking a little thin to me. I thought big manly-men were impressed by its girth?
Now, hope over to Goodreads and read this.
I'm afraid this is going to disappear one day so here's the pertinent text written in a comment to a review:
Two things to note: 1. She only acknowledged two of the three "Young Bucks" at the end of Wild, and 2. None of them are interested in being interviewed about Cheryl.
What?!?
Now I understand people wanting their privacy, but NONE of the three is willing to answer questions about Cheryl's "hike"? Go search the internet for each of them. Tell me if you find anything. I think one of them occasionally throws a "like" to Cheryl on a few of the thousands of photos she's posted of herself on Facebook.
Now take a look at the wording of her acknowledgement to the Bucks in Wild: "I am particularly indebted to my fellow 1995 PCT alumni...Rich Topinka...and Josh O'Brien, who responded to my inquiries with thoughtful care."
So, no "thanks for friendship" or "thanks for the help on the trail" or "so fortunate to have met such wonderful friends like..." Nope. All they get is: "I acknowledge that I owe a debt to these people who responded to my inquiries." What the hot-pocket does that mean? It means she emailed them years later and peppered them with questions about hiking the PCT along with, I imagine, several desperate pleas for any photographs they might have of her in hiking gear.
In fact, reading carefully, you'll notice she never thanks a single person she met on the PCT. She thanks the hell out of all the people who helped her write the book, who seem to be legion, but no thanks to any of the people who (supposedly) fed her on the trail, helped her with information on the trail, gave her a ride, helped her with the pack...basically anyone who helped keep her hapless butt alive on the trail (again we are assuming she actually was out there running around in the woods and the whole thing wasn't completely made up).
Quick note before I leave you for today. I've noticed I've used the word "supposedly" a lot already. I've given it some thought and unfortunately I think you are going to have to get used to if. When I say something like "this photo supposedly shows Cheryl next to a vented white metal box contraption" it's because I feel it's wrong and misleading to say "this photo (definitely) shows Cheryl atop her unicorn shooting heroin into her deltoid." I honestly don't know what to believe from her as there are SO many contradictions and things which just don't make sense. I think some of the events in Wild happened....kinda...but since a good part of the book appears to have been made-up, I can't take anything at its face value. I'll try to use a thesaurus from here on out if I find I'm likely to use the "S" word more than once on any post.
Peace out
-Mercer
A quick note first. I'm not going to bother summarizing every little detail of what occurs in the book here on this blog. If you're reading this, I'm assuming you have read the book and know what I'm talking about.
If you haven't read the book. I encourage you do to so.
Oh yeah, I said that. I know, I know! Not since the Red Wedding has a series of random words been arranged in such a shocking and unbelievable sequence. It's conceivable I might even lose some friends over this, but yes, I actually think the book is worth reading, but maybe not for the reasons you think.
Wild is a hysterical train wreck of a book. Dare I say, Wild is a peek into the mind of someone who thinks...differently about things than normal people. In fact, the experience is not dissimilar to reading Burroughs' Naked Lunch
One of my favorite things to do is recommend Wild to someone, then sit back and wait for the astounded, disbelieving calls, texts, and emails to pour in. (Although they usually start taking an angry tone when they read the way Cheryl behaves during her mother's death) If you have an ounce of common sense though, you can't help but laugh inappropriately at the ridiculousness of the things Cheryl claims to have done. Several of my friends and I now have running jokes based upon some of the more preposterous quotes from the book. Bone-eating, Wilco t-shirts, Michelle Shocked concerts, condom packages. foot rubbing, "cow, cow, cow", nurse penis, taking drugs from strange men in vans, abortion-tuna...cmon! This is a treasure trove of unintentional humor.
"Mercer, your kitten is as soft as a nurse's penis. Meow meow meow!"
Invite some friends over, open a bottle of wine, read your favorite passages out loud. In fact, I challenge you to assume roles and read her dialogue out loud like a play and get through it without crying in hilarity. Strayed has written a comic masterpiece and it should be celebrated as such. I don't begrudge her remuneration for that.
What I have an issue with is her being treated like a "hero" and that Wild is some sort of "inspirational tale" for others. She is not, it is not. If you behave in the real world like "Strayed" claims to have behaved in her book, then you should find yourself at the center of a behavioral intervention and probably on the receiving end of some powerful pharmaceutics prescribed by a health care professional.
Alright alright, back to this photo. Take a look at it. I brought it up in a previous post in regards to the lack of a pink strap on the ski-pole Cheryl is carrying. The photo supposedly shows Strayed with "Joshua," one of the "Three Young Bucks" she writes about in Wild. This is the ONLY photograph I know of that shows Strayed doing anything that resembles hiking with another person. Now think about that. She carried a Minolta X-700 with zoom lens and tiny tripod (and a flash for part of the trip) but only has ONE photo of herself with another person? In fact, I'm hard pressed to figure out if any of the photos she's posted were taken by her. More on her photos, the ones we have and the ones which don't exist, in another post.
It's odd to me that the only photo of her hiking with another person (or starting to hike anyway) doesnt look posed. That is, the two arent standing next to each other, dont have their arms around each other, arent looking in the same direction, anything that indicates there's any sort of friendship between them other than they were standing in the same vicinity when someone took a snap. I know this is my of my subjective doubt being imposed here, but try this: Google "Hiking with my friend" and search images. Compare those with Cheryl's photo. Just sayin'
By the way, which of those two backpacks would you want to carry based upon that photo? See where I'm going with that? "Monster" is looking a little thin to me. I thought big manly-men were impressed by its girth?
Now, hope over to Goodreads and read this.
I'm afraid this is going to disappear one day so here's the pertinent text written in a comment to a review:
The Three Young Bucks WERE from Carleton, class of '94! I pieced it together when I read the book because Rick Topinka and Josh O'Brien are listed in Strayed's acknowledgments. The third is Richie Kay. I contacted Josh and Rick recently to see if I could write an article about them for The Voice, but Josh declined on behalf of himself and Rick and said he was pretty sure Richie wouldn't be interested either. Frustrating! But it was exciting to solve the mystery of their identity!
Two things to note: 1. She only acknowledged two of the three "Young Bucks" at the end of Wild, and 2. None of them are interested in being interviewed about Cheryl.
What?!?
Now I understand people wanting their privacy, but NONE of the three is willing to answer questions about Cheryl's "hike"? Go search the internet for each of them. Tell me if you find anything. I think one of them occasionally throws a "like" to Cheryl on a few of the thousands of photos she's posted of herself on Facebook.
Now take a look at the wording of her acknowledgement to the Bucks in Wild: "I am particularly indebted to my fellow 1995 PCT alumni...Rich Topinka...and Josh O'Brien, who responded to my inquiries with thoughtful care."
So, no "thanks for friendship" or "thanks for the help on the trail" or "so fortunate to have met such wonderful friends like..." Nope. All they get is: "I acknowledge that I owe a debt to these people who responded to my inquiries." What the hot-pocket does that mean? It means she emailed them years later and peppered them with questions about hiking the PCT along with, I imagine, several desperate pleas for any photographs they might have of her in hiking gear.
In fact, reading carefully, you'll notice she never thanks a single person she met on the PCT. She thanks the hell out of all the people who helped her write the book, who seem to be legion, but no thanks to any of the people who (supposedly) fed her on the trail, helped her with information on the trail, gave her a ride, helped her with the pack...basically anyone who helped keep her hapless butt alive on the trail (again we are assuming she actually was out there running around in the woods and the whole thing wasn't completely made up).
Quick note before I leave you for today. I've noticed I've used the word "supposedly" a lot already. I've given it some thought and unfortunately I think you are going to have to get used to if. When I say something like "this photo supposedly shows Cheryl next to a vented white metal box contraption" it's because I feel it's wrong and misleading to say "this photo (definitely) shows Cheryl atop her unicorn shooting heroin into her deltoid." I honestly don't know what to believe from her as there are SO many contradictions and things which just don't make sense. I think some of the events in Wild happened....kinda...but since a good part of the book appears to have been made-up, I can't take anything at its face value. I'll try to use a thesaurus from here on out if I find I'm likely to use the "S" word more than once on any post.
Peace out
-Mercer
Wild: Nabokov for Everyone!
I cant take credit for this one and boy is it a goody!
A gentleman by the name of Bruce Kuntz posted the following on Ms. Strayed's Facebook page:
He also links to this blog which raises the same issue.
To summarize, in the chapter "The Lou out of Lou" Cheryl accepts a ride from a woman just after she met the (mythical) man who interviewed her for "Hobo Times." In the backseat of the car is a guy named "Spider" who's described at 40ish, dark hair worn in a braid, and wears a black leather vest with a red bandana. I think Cheryl was imagining Danny Trejo when she wrote this scene, but who knows. Spider goes on to tell her how he had been reading about "animals" awhile back and came across a story about an ape who had learned to draw.
I won't bother recounting all the details of the story, you can see them for yourself on either the FB post above or the link to the blog.
The key thing here is that later on in Wild, Cheryl just coincidentally reads Nabokov's Lolita. In the afterward section of the book, which is contained within the American version, which Strayed read, is the exact same anecdote.
You can read Cheryl's response to her being questioned about it above. At best, she merged something she had read in the book, with something that happened to her in reality. (Okay okay, we are going on the assumption she actually got a ride from Lou and met Spider. I know this is stretching your ability to suspend disbelief). At worst...well, what IS the worst case? She made the whole damn thing up. The former supports hypothesis #2 and the latter supports hypothesis #1. Which is worse?
And look how unapologetic she is in her response. Eh, so what if I just mistakenly thought something I read actually happened? Tee hee! Memory is tricky and stuff! Hee! That's why they call it a memoir! Giggle! Smiley!
As I sit here thinking, it occurs to me that Cheryl making the entire story up actually also supports hypothesis #2 as it fits right in with the idea she is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. She doesn't think anyone is smart enough to figure out what she did and that she can just smiley-face it away.
Goodness gracious. The deeper I go, the scarier this rabbit hole gets.
By the way, I've just learned that I have been blocked from commenting on Strayed's Facebook page. Not exactly sure what that accomplished. If I really wanted to I could just create another FB page, like she did. Ginger Nile? How many alternate personalities does this woman have? So far we are up to three counting "Sugar". It's interesting because I only commented twice on her page and that was a few days ago. She only blocked me a few hours ago, suggesting that she's been poking around Califohioan's Blog or somehow found her way here. It's funny too watching her post multiple articles in an attempt to "push down" the post where she was getting questioned. Ah well.
Do you know what the great thing about truth is? You never have to apologize for it.
A gentleman by the name of Bruce Kuntz posted the following on Ms. Strayed's Facebook page:
You should be able to click this to see a larger version.
He also links to this blog which raises the same issue.
To summarize, in the chapter "The Lou out of Lou" Cheryl accepts a ride from a woman just after she met the (mythical) man who interviewed her for "Hobo Times." In the backseat of the car is a guy named "Spider" who's described at 40ish, dark hair worn in a braid, and wears a black leather vest with a red bandana. I think Cheryl was imagining Danny Trejo when she wrote this scene, but who knows. Spider goes on to tell her how he had been reading about "animals" awhile back and came across a story about an ape who had learned to draw.
I won't bother recounting all the details of the story, you can see them for yourself on either the FB post above or the link to the blog.
The key thing here is that later on in Wild, Cheryl just coincidentally reads Nabokov's Lolita. In the afterward section of the book, which is contained within the American version, which Strayed read, is the exact same anecdote.
You can read Cheryl's response to her being questioned about it above. At best, she merged something she had read in the book, with something that happened to her in reality. (Okay okay, we are going on the assumption she actually got a ride from Lou and met Spider. I know this is stretching your ability to suspend disbelief). At worst...well, what IS the worst case? She made the whole damn thing up. The former supports hypothesis #2 and the latter supports hypothesis #1. Which is worse?
And look how unapologetic she is in her response. Eh, so what if I just mistakenly thought something I read actually happened? Tee hee! Memory is tricky and stuff! Hee! That's why they call it a memoir! Giggle! Smiley!
As I sit here thinking, it occurs to me that Cheryl making the entire story up actually also supports hypothesis #2 as it fits right in with the idea she is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. She doesn't think anyone is smart enough to figure out what she did and that she can just smiley-face it away.
Goodness gracious. The deeper I go, the scarier this rabbit hole gets.
By the way, I've just learned that I have been blocked from commenting on Strayed's Facebook page. Not exactly sure what that accomplished. If I really wanted to I could just create another FB page, like she did. Ginger Nile? How many alternate personalities does this woman have? So far we are up to three counting "Sugar". It's interesting because I only commented twice on her page and that was a few days ago. She only blocked me a few hours ago, suggesting that she's been poking around Califohioan's Blog or somehow found her way here. It's funny too watching her post multiple articles in an attempt to "push down" the post where she was getting questioned. Ah well.
Do you know what the great thing about truth is? You never have to apologize for it.
Friday, February 6, 2015
Wild: Mystery of the Ski Pole
Today you get a short and easy one! This little ingot is such a dumb mistake I don't even know what to think of it.
In the chapter "The Only Girl in the Woods" which in of itself is a rather pretentious title and belies a level of self-centeredness briefly touched upon in the comments of my last post, Ms. Strayed talks about the ski-pole she found in the PCT hiker free box at the Kennedy Meadows General Store.
Her description of it:
"It was a ski-pole fit for a princess: white, white a bubble-gum-pink nylon wrist strap."
Now compare that to this photo of Cheryl with the ski-pole in question.
(Please let me know if this link stops working. I have a feeling this will disappear at some point)
The photo is of Cheryl with Joshua, one of the "Three Young Bucks" she describes in Wild.
BTW, anyone else think that "monster" doesn't really look all that big compared to Joshua's?
This was supposedly taken near Odell Lake. I say supposedly because with Cheryl, who the hell knows. Anyway, notice anything about the "ski-pole" she is carrying? Where's the pink? This is so prominent in the story (the ski pole is mentioned 18 times in the book) that they made sure the one used by Reese Witherspoon in the movie was also pink.
I checked the rest of book and she never mentions losing it or swapping it for another. Lord knows she littered the trail with all the other gear she lost or dropped, why wouldn't she have also mentioned the loss of her princess-stick?
So what does this mean?
This is an example of the type of inconsistency that would be explained by Hypothesis #1, that most of the "memoir" was either exaggerated or just completely made up.
"Why would she do that?" you might ask. Does this sound exciting to you? "I walked out of the store with an armload of junk food to stuff in my face. I saw a ski-pole that someone left in a box outside the store, so I took it."
No, I'll give Strayed credit, she knew she needed to spice up this otherwise mundane story and the pink strap is an example of her throwing a little pepper here and there. Maybe I'm throwing credit around too liberally, her editor probably told her to do it (oh hey, maybe you might have shot heroin the day before you started hiking, how bout that?) She didnt think anything of it because this is one of the more benign examples of her dipping into her literary "spice-rack." By the time she decided to throw in a pink-strapped pole, she had already created a fictional reality that rivals Tolkien's, filled with bears and bulls and llamas and sasquatches (sasquatchi?). What's one little ski-pole compared to all that?
Why'd she post the photo if it so clearly contradicts her story? Ah, now that my friends is a much more interesting question. In fact, this photo is quite interesting in many ways...which we'll explore soon.....
-Mercer
In the chapter "The Only Girl in the Woods" which in of itself is a rather pretentious title and belies a level of self-centeredness briefly touched upon in the comments of my last post, Ms. Strayed talks about the ski-pole she found in the PCT hiker free box at the Kennedy Meadows General Store.
Her description of it:
"It was a ski-pole fit for a princess: white, white a bubble-gum-pink nylon wrist strap."
Now compare that to this photo of Cheryl with the ski-pole in question.
(Please let me know if this link stops working. I have a feeling this will disappear at some point)
The photo is of Cheryl with Joshua, one of the "Three Young Bucks" she describes in Wild.
BTW, anyone else think that "monster" doesn't really look all that big compared to Joshua's?
This was supposedly taken near Odell Lake. I say supposedly because with Cheryl, who the hell knows. Anyway, notice anything about the "ski-pole" she is carrying? Where's the pink? This is so prominent in the story (the ski pole is mentioned 18 times in the book) that they made sure the one used by Reese Witherspoon in the movie was also pink.
I checked the rest of book and she never mentions losing it or swapping it for another. Lord knows she littered the trail with all the other gear she lost or dropped, why wouldn't she have also mentioned the loss of her princess-stick?
So what does this mean?
This is an example of the type of inconsistency that would be explained by Hypothesis #1, that most of the "memoir" was either exaggerated or just completely made up.
"Why would she do that?" you might ask. Does this sound exciting to you? "I walked out of the store with an armload of junk food to stuff in my face. I saw a ski-pole that someone left in a box outside the store, so I took it."
No, I'll give Strayed credit, she knew she needed to spice up this otherwise mundane story and the pink strap is an example of her throwing a little pepper here and there. Maybe I'm throwing credit around too liberally, her editor probably told her to do it (oh hey, maybe you might have shot heroin the day before you started hiking, how bout that?) She didnt think anything of it because this is one of the more benign examples of her dipping into her literary "spice-rack." By the time she decided to throw in a pink-strapped pole, she had already created a fictional reality that rivals Tolkien's, filled with bears and bulls and llamas and sasquatches (sasquatchi?). What's one little ski-pole compared to all that?
I'm outta here....
Why'd she post the photo if it so clearly contradicts her story? Ah, now that my friends is a much more interesting question. In fact, this photo is quite interesting in many ways...which we'll explore soon.....
-Mercer
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Preface: From Annoyed to Angry about Wild
I've been debating for awhile whether or not I should participate in a more formal fashion in the growing criticism over Cheryl Strayed's "memoir" Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. With some reluctance and hesitation, I now feel like I must speak up.
Why the hesitation? Put simply, I don't like the idea of putting a lot of negative energy out into the atmosphere. I feel it has a way of coming back upon a person.
Comedian and UFC announcer Joe Rogan felt perfectly justified in publicly attacking Carlos Mencia on his website in 2005, because of the truly despicable things Mencia had done to his fellow comedians. However, Joe expressed regret for his actions in an interview with Marc Maron on his podcast WTF some years later, feeling that because he had put so much "negative energy" into attacking Carlos, it came back upon him in ways he hadn't foreseen. He still thinks something needed to be done, but maybe he would handled it in a different way.
To some extent, that is why I've hesitated to speak out publicly. All one has to do is read through a few responses from Strayed's followers to get a sense of what you would face in daring to question her. Just check out a few of these gems from Facebook:
"I read Bill Bryson's "A Walk In The Woods" and there you will find two immensely unprepared dudes. I've never heard Bryson criticized for his under preparedness in the way Cheryl has been. It's just b/c your a woman, and we all know it."
"I wonder if it is because you are a woman, and/or you achieved fame that causes this reaction in people? I think it is jealousy pure and simple. Most of your critics never hiked when you did."
"I was appalled at the PCT FB page. I had recently joined and then left after a few weeks. It was just as the movie was premiering and idiot after idiot had something crappy to say about the book. Sadly, they thought we all should hear it. However, there were defenders of WILD, some men, mostly women. I do think there is an element of fear, jealousy, sexism and cabin fever that have infected your attackers. Lets hope the spring will clear the cobwebs if idiocy... less hopeful about the sexism."
Yeah, and those were just a few of the hundreds I saw right away and picked out random. One day I might go back and cherry-pick some of the worst. The point is, I'm opening myself up for a lot of blow-back. Be that as it may, I've decided to move forward.Why? Well, Carlos Mencia never did anything that put people in harm's way.
What finally drove me over the edge was this Facebook post by Ms. Strayed.
(If that link doesn't, it means she's deleted it. I assume that will happen at some point)
Ms. Strayed appears to be upset that people are starting to call her out and draw attention to her irresponsibility in promoting the idea of people going out and hiking in the wilderness without proper preparation. She starts:
"Might I say, for the record, that while I made comic (and truthful) hay in WILD about all I needed to learn about backpacking (which was MUCH), the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated?"
Okay, first I have to point out that I've never once seen an author post a massive block of words in one mega-paragraph like this. Just take a look at the screenshot above. To add insult to injury, the sentences are horribly constructed and she meanders from point to point with little connection between the thoughts. It's virtually unreadable.
Second, what does she mean my "make comic...hay in Wild"? The term "making hay" generally means "turning something into one's advantage" or "throw into confusion". Neither one applies here. Make truthful hay? That makes even less sense. This is supposedly a professional writer who doesn't appear to understand the idioms she uses. She needed to learn "much" about backpacking? Who talks like that? The rest of her jungly word-garden is more of the same.
Third, "...the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated?" Is she making a statement or asking a question? Better: "I want to state for the record the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated." Setting aside her complete lack of style, who is she talking about anyway? This seems to be a general attack against a straw-man she thinks she can defeat rather than a refutation of any specific criticism. Who has wildly overstated your unpreparedness Cheryl? YOU HAVE.
After some Sugar-esque word salad comes this illuminating little gem:
"People like to write that I knew nothing about hiking before I set foot on the PCT, but as I wrote in my book, I was an avid day hiker before my PCT trek--a fact that often gets overlooked for reasons I do not understand."
Help me out people. I cant find anywhere in her book where she states she's an avid day hiker. She uses "avid" six times and never about her hiking. (although there is this little eye-roller: "She knew I was intellectually avid," Ugh). In fact, this is what she says, in her own words, about her hiking background:
The point of this is: Cheryl HERSELF has actively promoted the idea she wasn't prepared for her undertaking and it was beyond, far beyond, what she was logically and sensibly capable of doing. This set-up was purposeful. It shows how "strong" she was. It sets up what she had to "overcome". Steel is forged with fire, not flowers and bunnies. If she was prepared, if hiking were easy, if she knew what she was doing, then where's the drama?
This is how she closes the manifesto: "If you read WILD carefully, you know that when I went to the PCT I was going home."
What?? Was there another version that contains passages I don't have in my copy? She states repeatedly how foreign the terrain is for her. She had no concept what a desert was, no idea what the difference between a mountain and hill was, and actually thought she was going to get attacked by Bigfoot.
Now why does this matter? Go read comments from people who have read the book. You can find them on Goodreads, Amazon, and her Facebook page. You can find dozens, maybe hundreds by now, of coach potatoes who have been "inspired" to go out wander around in the wilderness without any more preparation than Cheryl had. Do you know what happens out there? The California desert isn't like Jackrabbit, Indiana or Corntown, Ohio, you dehydrate FAST. You dehydrate just by breathing in the dry air. Going on day-hikes at the local park is as far from wilderness backpacking as bumper cars are from a NASCAR race.
That was quite a bit longer than I wanted. My plan is to go back through the book and create an entry for each discrepancy I find and anything that seems fishy. Ultimately I'm working through three different hypotheses, and I quite honestly don't know which one will prove true:
1. Most of the book , about 70% from what I can tell, varies between exaggeration and outright fiction
2. Cheryl Strayed is suffering from one or more mental disorders (I do not say this to be funny; I'm serious)
3. She's such a poor writer, one has difficulty in discerning what she really means, and thus, there's a lot of confusion.
The third hypothesis is the newest. I just came up with it today when a group of us were trying to figure out when her first "zero day" was. I got confused because she didn't write what she really meant in one part and threw me off.
Number one is the one I find most likely. As you'll see in future posts, her hike seems to be an abridged and slightly modified version of the Barefoot Sisters' hike on the Appalachian Trail with a couple of splashes from Bill Bryson thrown in for spice.
The second hypothesis cannot be completely discounted even if #1 and #3 hold true. She ate her mother's bones? She stabbed her husband with a toothbrush and threatened to fuck another man's brains out? She took drugs from a stranger in the back of his van? Yeah, there's a diagnosis there somewhere.
We'll explore all these together in detail. So long for now.
-Mercer
Comedian and UFC announcer Joe Rogan felt perfectly justified in publicly attacking Carlos Mencia on his website in 2005, because of the truly despicable things Mencia had done to his fellow comedians. However, Joe expressed regret for his actions in an interview with Marc Maron on his podcast WTF some years later, feeling that because he had put so much "negative energy" into attacking Carlos, it came back upon him in ways he hadn't foreseen. He still thinks something needed to be done, but maybe he would handled it in a different way.
To some extent, that is why I've hesitated to speak out publicly. All one has to do is read through a few responses from Strayed's followers to get a sense of what you would face in daring to question her. Just check out a few of these gems from Facebook:
"I read Bill Bryson's "A Walk In The Woods" and there you will find two immensely unprepared dudes. I've never heard Bryson criticized for his under preparedness in the way Cheryl has been. It's just b/c your a woman, and we all know it."
"I wonder if it is because you are a woman, and/or you achieved fame that causes this reaction in people? I think it is jealousy pure and simple. Most of your critics never hiked when you did."
"I was appalled at the PCT FB page. I had recently joined and then left after a few weeks. It was just as the movie was premiering and idiot after idiot had something crappy to say about the book. Sadly, they thought we all should hear it. However, there were defenders of WILD, some men, mostly women. I do think there is an element of fear, jealousy, sexism and cabin fever that have infected your attackers. Lets hope the spring will clear the cobwebs if idiocy... less hopeful about the sexism."
Yeah, and those were just a few of the hundreds I saw right away and picked out random. One day I might go back and cherry-pick some of the worst. The point is, I'm opening myself up for a lot of blow-back. Be that as it may, I've decided to move forward.Why? Well, Carlos Mencia never did anything that put people in harm's way.
What finally drove me over the edge was this Facebook post by Ms. Strayed.
(If that link doesn't, it means she's deleted it. I assume that will happen at some point)
"Might I say, for the record, that while I made comic (and truthful) hay in WILD about all I needed to learn about backpacking (which was MUCH), the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated?"
Okay, first I have to point out that I've never once seen an author post a massive block of words in one mega-paragraph like this. Just take a look at the screenshot above. To add insult to injury, the sentences are horribly constructed and she meanders from point to point with little connection between the thoughts. It's virtually unreadable.
Second, what does she mean my "make comic...hay in Wild"? The term "making hay" generally means "turning something into one's advantage" or "throw into confusion". Neither one applies here. Make truthful hay? That makes even less sense. This is supposedly a professional writer who doesn't appear to understand the idioms she uses. She needed to learn "much" about backpacking? Who talks like that? The rest of her jungly word-garden is more of the same.
Third, "...the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated?" Is she making a statement or asking a question? Better: "I want to state for the record the extent to which I was unprepared has been wildly overstated." Setting aside her complete lack of style, who is she talking about anyway? This seems to be a general attack against a straw-man she thinks she can defeat rather than a refutation of any specific criticism. Who has wildly overstated your unpreparedness Cheryl? YOU HAVE.
After some Sugar-esque word salad comes this illuminating little gem:
"People like to write that I knew nothing about hiking before I set foot on the PCT, but as I wrote in my book, I was an avid day hiker before my PCT trek--a fact that often gets overlooked for reasons I do not understand."
Help me out people. I cant find anywhere in her book where she states she's an avid day hiker. She uses "avid" six times and never about her hiking. (although there is this little eye-roller: "She knew I was intellectually avid," Ugh). In fact, this is what she says, in her own words, about her hiking background:
- "It was my hiking outfit and in it I felt a bit foreign, like someone I hadn't become"
- "But now, having only these clothes at hand, I felt suddenly like a fraud."
- Paul: "It's only that you've never gone backpacking as far as I know." (Interestingly Cheryl then lies to him and tells him she has.)
- "I've never gone backpacking."
- "I walked all the time. I walked for hours on end as a waitress." Note, this is her FIRST justification for being able to hike the PCT. Next she states she walked around in cities and walked for pleasure.
- She was referred to in the book as the "hapless hiker" a name she calls a "fairly apt description"
- SHE NEVER ONCE MENTIONS HIKING in the two years (or whatever) she was writing as "Sugar." Think that odd? Me too, particularly since there were several times it would have been pertinent to the question she was answering. BTW, before you send me scowly emails about the one time she talks about walking up a hill and met people and feathers fell from the sky and whatever nonsense she was making up that day, I'll tell you I believe that story as much as I believe George Zimmerman's fanciful tales of self defense.
The point of this is: Cheryl HERSELF has actively promoted the idea she wasn't prepared for her undertaking and it was beyond, far beyond, what she was logically and sensibly capable of doing. This set-up was purposeful. It shows how "strong" she was. It sets up what she had to "overcome". Steel is forged with fire, not flowers and bunnies. If she was prepared, if hiking were easy, if she knew what she was doing, then where's the drama?
This is how she closes the manifesto: "If you read WILD carefully, you know that when I went to the PCT I was going home."
What?? Was there another version that contains passages I don't have in my copy? She states repeatedly how foreign the terrain is for her. She had no concept what a desert was, no idea what the difference between a mountain and hill was, and actually thought she was going to get attacked by Bigfoot.
Now why does this matter? Go read comments from people who have read the book. You can find them on Goodreads, Amazon, and her Facebook page. You can find dozens, maybe hundreds by now, of coach potatoes who have been "inspired" to go out wander around in the wilderness without any more preparation than Cheryl had. Do you know what happens out there? The California desert isn't like Jackrabbit, Indiana or Corntown, Ohio, you dehydrate FAST. You dehydrate just by breathing in the dry air. Going on day-hikes at the local park is as far from wilderness backpacking as bumper cars are from a NASCAR race.
That was quite a bit longer than I wanted. My plan is to go back through the book and create an entry for each discrepancy I find and anything that seems fishy. Ultimately I'm working through three different hypotheses, and I quite honestly don't know which one will prove true:
1. Most of the book , about 70% from what I can tell, varies between exaggeration and outright fiction
2. Cheryl Strayed is suffering from one or more mental disorders (I do not say this to be funny; I'm serious)
3. She's such a poor writer, one has difficulty in discerning what she really means, and thus, there's a lot of confusion.
The third hypothesis is the newest. I just came up with it today when a group of us were trying to figure out when her first "zero day" was. I got confused because she didn't write what she really meant in one part and threw me off.
Number one is the one I find most likely. As you'll see in future posts, her hike seems to be an abridged and slightly modified version of the Barefoot Sisters' hike on the Appalachian Trail with a couple of splashes from Bill Bryson thrown in for spice.
The second hypothesis cannot be completely discounted even if #1 and #3 hold true. She ate her mother's bones? She stabbed her husband with a toothbrush and threatened to fuck another man's brains out? She took drugs from a stranger in the back of his van? Yeah, there's a diagnosis there somewhere.
We'll explore all these together in detail. So long for now.
-Mercer
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